a cold comfort runs through the heart of it..

once dazzling with Diamonds and pearls..

it just sits....empty..


waiting for a new owner's love..

just one coat of bright orange zest...instead of pealing greys.

haunting itself with memories of the wealth it once wore.

The House........


that gets called Evil,Ugly,a shower of eye sores..

poor..poor abandoned living spaces..

picked and robbed clean of the Fanciest place on the block..

rocking back and forth in it's foundation....

listen...you know the sounds..

all the little creaking and cracking..

it's really the house crying out..

wishing passion could wisk it up and model it beauitful again...

low vs high

standing outside in the rain...

feeling the pains of being plain...

watching the banter and silly toasts.

two different worlds, at war with class.



i live in the gutter ....praying with cutters.

living light don't die out before i taste glory

should i look? like my class?

braking bread with the street wise juggler

i am a Struggler against myself

sometimes i just want to say,beam me up scottie

Because i don't feel like a hottie

life with rats is a doomed one...

freedom is locked behind fancy doors

play misery on my bleeding heart,

damn,the sweet sounds...

laid to rest among zombies and vampires

sucking me dry of thought

freebasing til,face up in a dirty embrace

watching through the window untouched

i cry...i sigh...i trace memories back to a warm meal

please? won't you help heal the pain??

Demons out in play,slaying away,my once bright brain

say will a star fade in my time of need?

the night sky has been looking a little sad

hey! Mr....words are my only sword

singing my swan song

hugging my friend jack and humming in the breeze

remembering fairy tales are lies

still...everything is painfully silent

no cooing of the pigeons

smart to be away from this freezing bitter coal night

hey! mr.... just don't want to fight....a little tired....a little dry

i close my eyes and wish...trying to blow out a candle behind the pretty glass

slowly...opening to see my reflection,was it you i chatted with?

breathing a little heavier,fogging up the pretty glass

if only..to write,a remembrance of a mind that was not always blind

kind,...dirty face,a row of pearls shine...with a remembering smile

i was not always broken,sadly the truth can be spoken many.many times over

but nobody wants to listen,to the invisible

Wolfspirit

you took me to Heaven

has the cheese filled words exit

it's true.....

your love grew quickly...

now spring runs off..

sending in summer....

no longer are we kissing..

no longer do we hug...

your gone...

our parting was heart bending..

i pretended to move on..

but how does a mind just move on?

when the kisses and hugs are still fresh.

i called you wolf spirit..

because your personality was never tame..

now....i must bow out and say..

it was a good year my dear

Wild Smoke

within you.. wild smoke
each time you spoke
it was like heat rushing in
my eyes lit up with a bright listening
your words are a sword for each season
touching every life with wild smoke
a tender glance inside the entrance of the soul
the sky maybe a pastey grey and the sun shy
with little hardship...you manage to be
the sky and the sun

share a laugh...roll on over the mundane
you substaine with such grace

mind you not a soft grace but a powerful grace


giving my face the biggest smile

Boken Cross

where is god when, a pink skinned boy ends his light?

fighting day after day for the right to be...

Sad...my eyes swell, o'well says the narrow minded man sipping his coffee.

here comes another candle burnt too soon, a rainbow never seeing the smiles of future doings.

the whole amazing grace couldn't even begin to trace a hurting face.

looking at a bee touching a flower, i sigh......

lives taken away,wish i could wash away the evil that exsists in the world.

people praying to a god hanging off a broken cross.

who is going to fix this broken cross?

sad....my eyes swell, has i tell myself it will get better.

hopefully it does get better,but what about these lives?

the lost,the lonely, hands pale and nowhere to turn.

free...is this free? when will the chains unlock and allow for the bills to roll in?

protect...the ones who lay in bed at night and fill a tiny puddle of washed away dreams

seems we are no closer....to resolve. just a bunch of kids dissolving into the nothing.

my heart turns blue....

The Patchwork Heart

we live,we love...we stitch a new patch on our heart.

the day it fades...the night gives us the dreams.

anyone...whose ever lost. knows the game....

same has the many tales told long ago.

i save a little extra hope in my back pocket.

that one day, a man from my dreams...

will hand me a locket and inside will be, a tiny note of reasons.

i would no longer need to pour so much energy into my patchwork heart.

a dreamer's way

Is to stay away from the real world ways

fireflies circle round my smile

wondering in a forrest of fairy tales

wishing on dented gold plated stars

all i want

is a kiss that lasts,til the earth falls into a black hole

awhole life time of non stop bliss

white horses and charming princes

i cover myself in soft flowers

my thoughts venture to a closed door

where i keep all my hopeful unrealistic dreams

only the key keeps floating away

i am not at peace my love

feeling your last breath.

my heart falls apart like a puzzle.

no....i can't think of life without you now.

"Damn"!, the pain stings like a jelly fish.

just one...wish.

that we could be laughing and doing the dishes again.

a pair we were, lost in our own senses.

looking up into the little light that shines through the window.

tears visible only to the morning sun....

who can i lean on now? without the history we have drawn.

i doubt i could be the tower of strength...

a smile half heartedly reaching my face,has i remember a moment.

silly...but worthwhile..we got caught out in the rain.

'o my love...what a pain you were at times.

clinging to a dime like scrooge.

melting..my heart can't take the still...the silence.

no longer here...somewhere else.

why? couldn't i have been there?

to prevent...be the knight in shining armor.

Hell is a place on earth...at least right now.

i sat by your side,in those final hours.

my life has stopped,why? is a heart has gentle has yours?

being dragged away..away from me...away from our dances?

if only this were like the movies,i could say...

you whispered i love you...

damn...i loved you,but my mind was so busy with that hard tightness in my chest.

that will not let me rest.

i lay my head against your lifeless chest.

and just echo,a blue...that won't wash away.

on the mountain

the town below looks so small.....

up close to a warm cuddle.

feeling safe...among the bears....

Good... my sweet guy.


into the night we go.....

toasting and telling stories,in front of a beauitful fire.

life seems frozen,stuck just for us....

each moment a memory picture is taken..

your kiss is like a warm blanket from my youth.

a man with many ideas and light bulbs to prove it.

only in the now....do i know a love.

i will be a jar of honey for you,my strong bee charmer....

stars fill the sky like a living painting.

far on top of a romantic rocky side...

mother nature winks at me,has if to say our union is perfection

sliding closer,i fall under your spell

Smoke and Mirrors

a glimpse inside a hollow tree

covering the flaws with paint...

the profile begins

uncomfortable in the skin

drawing a new face

living in the perfect place

cyberland of the plastic kind

another night of wearing a mask

such an easy task

two white lies grow to five,six,seven

before you know it,smoke and mirrors

like the branches of an artifical tree

typing away with glee and a devilish grin

fooling the drooling guy on the other end

a price is paid

keeping up the charade

afraid...nervous...out right lonely.

listening to the media for advice

very few, fit in the spots

in minds who wear masks,hot is where it is at

so suffer the ken doll effect

a poor soul, residing under a troll's bridge

the man who lives through others

since the day of his birth...this man never knew how to live outside another.

no warm candles...no inviting smiles.

just miles of hard cold road.

inside the lives of others, was the only way he could shine.

wines and cheese never tasted so devine.

forgetting the lonely frights...

others were a flashlight,spotting the monsters.

the man who lives through others....

has lost his innerchild somewhere along the way,

straying so far into a make believe,feel good land.

where hearts never get broken,and harsh words left unspoken.

never fully understanding how much worse it is to walk in another's shadow.


the New Year party for one.....


picking up my glass of wine, i look out into the happy crowd.

inside i feel blue...a one man band with the flu.
a heartache that cries out into the long cold night...
i fight the urge to spill tears.
why must i? feel the human needs...a haunting nerve played with.
a romantic mind gone blind in all the cheering...
another year come and gone...i notice all the couples kissing.
my soul yearns for a warm mate...
i will go on through out the night, wearing my smile.
while inside sadness fogs up all my thoughts.

Jarhead Love

intense and strong
wounded and wrong

longing for a ring

only to sing the blues....

out on a boat, kissing and embracing false hopes.

still, it felt so good with you near

my jarhead love....

for the moment we live inside a snowglobe.

keeping the real world away...

why must i pray?

to linger on within your tough arms...

holding close to dear memories

we played in the sand and on land.

you held me close...the warmth caused me to smile.


in the end...i was never the one for you.

listening to your buds tease and snicker.

i couldn't do that...

my fairy wings too thin to bend.

laying inside our fantasy.

you needed a twin of yourself...

someone who makes a soothing generic feel.

in the dark...or out of the spot light.

i...would be good for you.

Chilled Bones

The light of a winter night,catching me off guard. I wonder into nature's soul...both wicked and good.

these clothes are soaked with regret,lingering in a place i'll forget. owls hover over head,reminding me of a flight i missed...

I sit and ponder thoughts thicker than cake batter. the ice covered tree branchs chatter on,while Chilled Bones

Start to turn me into stone,bitter drips from my sore lips.

I try to move on,but my legs just feel an anchor caught in corel.

Who will remember a life, afraid to jump off risk.

Fear stares me deep in the eye....

Here my chilled bones rest.

 

 

 

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Lost in the thick of my own thoughts on a path i ride so open and so free the light of a dawn that hugs me so.... i cry and my heart hurts for the days that i hadn't lived. hidden to deep in fear of exposing a feeling. each day my tree of life drops a branch fear is a force that grips and twists til a body loses it's spark the man of many marks... lone and worn... again lost and torn. trying to locate my smiles,my hope.... the world becomes a dark cold place. faces seem all the same, and i wish upon a grey star. light is only a breath away...